Roar. Look at those sweet baby feet.
Love that the toys we brought the girls made it into the picture.
Makes us feel like a part of us is there with them.
The girls are growing fast! I can't believe its been 21 weeks since we said yes to these sweet little ones. It makes us a bit sad to be missing each milestone. To be honest, sometimes it feels unfair that they are in a foster home with 50 kids when we are here waiting in such great anticipation to welcome them into our family. We really believe that God has BIG plans for these girls and we will continue to advocate for their best interest from this side of the world. We miss them deeply.
This last week the girls were sick. One of the girls was very sick and put on antibiotics to help her get over her infection. We are so thankful that there is a doctor that checks on them three times a week. Since we have been matched, every time the girls are sick in Africa, our kids at home are also sick. I want to be with them both and God reminds me that I don't need to be. That He has it covered.
Shortly after coming home on the best high from our amazing trip we got a stomach virus here. Mike first, then me. And a couple of days later, each kid took turns with the crud. And when you have four young kids someone is sick for 3-4 days and passes it to someone else. The cycle continues until everyone is overlapping in sickness. And then a new something shows up. We have barely left the house in three weeks straight. And sleep. It's has been pretty much non existent.
Sam's glowing light on his toe
And then this last week. Another round of croup for our family. Our little Sam woke up and, similar to this last fall, was gasping for each breath. The hot & cold treatment. Yeah, it didn't work. My fingers fumble as I turn on a cool mist in the nebulizer to offer him relief. Nothing changed. Seconds seem like minutes. At 1am, I throw on my glasses, a jacket and scoop up our son. Mike and I look at each other and we know that it's time to take him in. No words needed to be exchanged in our calm panic. I was familiar with the drill as we arrived at the Emergency Department two blocks from our home. I'm incredibly thankful for years of experience walking kids through hospital routines. I lean in and whisper to Sam each step of what he can expect. I remind him how important it is to remain calm. I ask him not to cry as he struggles for oxygen. I tell him that I won't leave him. I sing him his favorite songs. I place my words next to his ear and softly remind him how much I love him. He is cradled in my arms with his cute animal pj's and his brown blanket wrapped over him. His favorite little baby Ede embraced in his arms.
The nurse quickly takes us back to our room for the night. As we sit on the bed together, she hooks him up to the standard monitoring machines. Sam's loud barking, course cough and labored breathing can be heard echoing the halls. The doctor comes in soon after and respiratory therapy is close behind. An epinephrin breathing treatment is given right away followed by an oral steroid to decrease edema and open his airway. He slowly starts to melt into my arms as his breathing relaxes. While I hold him close I silently pray over him praising God for his goodness.
As our crew leaves the room, we cuddle up on the bed together wide awake in our exhausted state. I find my phone to text Mike. I let him know we are now doing much better. Sam and I watch a short video together - Backyardigans. The nurse brings us a warm blanket and our heads hit the pillow in relief. I take a big, deep breathe and give thanks for our care. For the safety of US hospitals. For the convenience to not have to pay before we can be seen. I'm thankful that there were plenty of rooms to be taken to and that each one was clean. I'm thankful for the medicine to be given. For the prompt attention to our family. This mama heart is thankful.
Under the blanket, Sam's toe is glowing bright through the blanket from his pulse ox. He notices and wants to go under the blanket together. "Look, a bright light is shining in the dark. Let's pray under here mama". He places his hand in mine and we pray together. I really can't express the beauty of a child initiating pray in his time. I'm struck in this moment that God is looking for us to come to him. It doesn't matter our age or gender. He isn't concerned about our religion or our race. He is unmoved by our imperfections or wrongs. He is drawn to the masterpiece that He created. The wonderful journey that He placed us on. He is captivated by our hearts. Our perfect purpose. He wants to offer us profound peace in this moment.
He wants to be THE LIGHT in our dark places.
Oh, how it speaks to my worn soul. God is present in every place that we find ourselves in each day. He reminds me that He meets us in our needs. In our wants. In our our heartaches and the greatest joys. He encourages us to retreat in desperation. To find safety in His wing. To rejoice in our thanksgiving. To praise Him in worship. He never fails. We just have to seek His light. Draw close. His love can not be contained. It bursts through any protective covering that we place. It shines as a beacon of hope through the dark of the world. Thank you Lord for your word. For your kind, gentle spirit.
Heavenly Father, thank you for this journey of life. For its ups and downs. For helping us to stretch and grow. For not allowing us to stay the same. Thank you that you didn't call us to ever walk alone. No matter what we experience you are thrilled to partner with us in this life. Thank you for our girls. Thank you for loving them and keeping them safe while we are here. Please give us all supernatural protection over our health. Please bring them home in your perfect timing. In my world of time, they would have been home by now. But I trust that you know far greater than I. Thank you for showing me your faithfulness and for allowing us to rest in your presence. In our stillness, you protect our hearts. You go before us in battle while we rest. Thank you. Amen.